It ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings- In English: Let us hope we don’t mess it up!
I would like to write about something that I have noticed and find should be addressed to a certain degree, this notion could be used in many aspects, whether partnerships, friendships or business. As a German woman residing in the US, I’ve come to notice one thing about the differences between the American and German culture.
And that is the behavior in the US of “Men”….
By no means would I want to be stereotyping, nor do I want to come off as a sexist. We should not forget that generalization is in fact a negative path to pursue, because in every part of the world you always have differences between societies. Yet behind all that lies some truth that can often be overlooked. However, it can be a powerful tool to understand a society and what to expect with respect to habits and behavior of a culture.
Norms and behavior and what is expected in each country differ greatly, also towards the opposite sex. As we can see, it depends on the development of females in the country, what their rights are and what simply common sense. But maybe we can assume ( Vermuten ) that it is a standard procedure to whistle when you see a beautiful woman or simply use the typical American phrases to raise attention and interest? Blurting out sentences such as : “U wanna hang out”- “hey what’s up” – “cool man”- or “ Freakin’ hot”- Hey you” – “Hottie” is it because men have become insecure? Or could we trace the behavior down to plagiarism or simply trying to act “manly “?
Ever since women do in fact seek their careers, men have become self conscious here and therefore use other means in an attempt to be masculine? In personal experience and speaking to other women who are from Europe, we often find and conclude, ( Feststellem ) it must be a simple form of communication in the US. We are not always accustomed ( Gewöhnt) to such slang nor would we appreciate it, because of respect to one another. ( Zu-einander)
At first glance, men ( Männer) in Germany make the place seem like a heaven for foreign women who come to Germany. Until you start dating; German men are much more difficult than you might think. It is often noted that Germans have a tendency of wanting to be accurate, by doing everything on time, their humor is not understood, they rarely laugh, and they seem not that approachable. They simply don’t walk over to a stranger and use some pick-up line if a German is interested. Germans will give straight answers with little to no concern if it could be hurtful to the other- Unlike Americans, where strangers will ask you “how you are”, yet don’t mean it most often. It can be called, little white lies- Among others things about Germans- it is said, they are tense, not impulsive, yet are educated and shy…
Nothing could be further from the truth. It is being said, even in the online German magazines, that German males are not only fine physical specimens, but they are also weak, wimpy, afraid of commitment, and painfully shy.
In other words, they know for a fact that by trying to act “cool” they would not even receive a first chance by most German women. Or is it possible that the women of Germany have raised the men over time in such a fashion?
For centuries, a woman’s role in German society was summed up and described by the three “K” words: Kinder (children), Kirche (church), and Küche (kitchen). Sometimes the fourth “K” is mentioned: Kleider (clothes). Throughout the 20th century, however, women have gradually won victories in their quest for equal rights. In 1919 they received the right to vote. World War II also made profound changes. During the war, women assumed positions traditionally held by men. After the war, the so-called Trümmerfrauen (women of the rubble) tended the wounded, buried the dead, salvaged belongings, and began the hard task of rebuilding war-torn Germany by simply clearing away the rubble.
After World War II, employment and social welfare programs remained predicated on the male breadwinner model. However in the east, women remained in the workforce. The Soviet-style system mandated women’s participation in the economy, and the government implemented this key objective by opening up educational and vocational opportunities to women. As early as 1950, marriage and family laws also had been rewritten to accommodate working mothers. Emancipated for economic and ideological reasons, women in the east entered institutes of higher learning and the labor force in record numbers while still maintaining the household. After several decades of conforming to traditional social patterns, West German women began to demand changes as well. With this a new era developed.
In General more and more women approached their independency and, to an extent, voiced their opinions in regards to men. Men, until recently, had no rights to a child in Germany after a divorce – They could only pay child-support but had no parental rights, while women, through persistent patriarchal family structure and work environment, have managed to gain isolated high-profile victories.
While in the US it has become more common ( Üblich ) that both male and female work and similar events happened of women’s rights and equal right, the wages for the same work often still vary, for women the income is still less for the majority- And child support as well as health care is still lacking in many parts of the US- Therefore often enough one still relies heavily on a male figure to bring home ( Zuhause ) the bread. ( Das brot)
So my overall question is this: Why do especially American men tend to act “cool” and arrogant? With such phrases as mentioned above often being used in the US?
On a final note:
While it’s hard not to categorize people according to their nationalities, it’s wise to look beyond all the stereotypes if you’re trying to get to know a person, no matter on what level. Give them (be it Germans, French, Japanese etc.) a chance to be who they really are. Though with respect and also as to what another person culture presents. ( Präsentiert )
Verhalten- Behavior
Vermuten- Assume
Feststellen- conclude
Gewöhnt- Accustomed
Zueinander- to another
Männer- Men
Kinder- Children
Kirche- Church
Küche- Kitchen
Kleider- Clothes
Trümmerfrauen- women of the rubble
üblich- common
Zuhause- to home
Das brot- the bread
Präsentiert- presented
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